Bring your own balloons…

It seems like lots of you readers are interested in visiting the dentist. Well, probably more in the nitrous experience than the actual teeth cleaning and stuff, that’s way more interesting. Let me describe this experience for you, since I think that’s what you are looking for.

1. It’s better with music, so see if they’ll let you wear headphones. I advise something more on the mellow side, like Sarah McLaughlin or Brandi Carlile. Maybe leave the Rage Against the Machine at home.
2. Breathe deeply and relax. If you attempt to be too aware of the experience, then you’ll just be thinking “do I feel it do I feel it do I feel it?” and you’ll kind of miss it.
3. You’ll feel very relaxed once the nitrous kicks in, not too swimmy-headed, but a little. Even though the dentist is pulling on your face and power-tooling the shit out of your teeth, you don’t really notice that much.
4. You will smile.
5. You will be a little woozy when you’re done. I had to collect myself in the waiting room afterward, but after a minute I was back to normal.
6. The end.

Favorite Movie Quotes – Friday (the original)

“How the hell you gonna get fired on your day off?!”

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“Every time I come in the kitchen, you’re in the kitchen, in the got-damned refrigerator, eatin’ up all the food…”

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“Boy, I smelled your shit for 22 years, now you can’t smell mine for 5 minutes?”

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“You need a trade…take a look at that paper on the c-c-c-counter there…”

“Man, I ain’t trying to be no dog catcher!”

“Why not?”

“I don’t even like dogs…”

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“Whodafuck you go to the show with last night???”

“I didn’t go to the show last night!”

“Yes you did!  My sister-in-law’s baby cousin Tracy, she went to the show last night and she saw you there all hugged-up with some tramp! Now tell me who she was…”

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“My grandmama gave me that chain!”

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“Pop’s trippin’…he wants me to ask for my bike back…you know I wouldn’t trip…”

“THAT’S MY BIKE, PUNK!!!”

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“Hey hey hey hey hey…what are you doing?”

“I’m throwing this away, we ain’t even got no milk!”

“You better put some water on that damn shit!”

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“I got bit in the ass today, son, by a stinking-ass filthy dog…”

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“My neck! My back! My neck and my back!”

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“What’s up with your daddy’s hair?  Looks like a bunch of spiders having a meeting on his head!”

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(There are so many more, I really love this movie….)

I am hungover today.

Not the puking-all-day hangover, just the woke-up-with-a-headache-still-kind-of-have-one hangover. The kind of hangover that’s nurtured by a gallon of tea and lots of cheese. But I had a great time last night. Bill went out with a couple of guys he’s known since childhood, and accidentally ran into his high school reunion. I went out with a girlfriend and we both drank too much and ate pizza, so it was a good Girl’s Night.

Now that I think about it, I ate pizza from 3 different places the last 3 days, kind of weird. It’s ok, though, I love pizza. Friday night, the pizza was homemade with Trader Joe’s dough, sausage, feta and onions. Saturday pizza was from my regular bar, which has some of the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. This was supposed to be a White Pizza, but accidentally come as a Greek pizza, with gyro meat, olives, feta and onions. I HATE olives, but these were whole, and it was close to the end of the night, if you know what I mean, and I think you do, so I could just pick them off without too much gagging (olives are REALLY gross). It was still an awesome pizza. Today’s pizza was Papa John’s Indiana Jones Super Gigantic Pizza. This was pepperoni, pineapple, and again, onion. I think if I could only have one pizza topping for the rest of my life, I would choose onion. This pizza was good, but definitely in 3rd place.

In other news, my family lives about 5 hours away. I don’t go visit often enough, and the drive is incredibly boring and long, which is most of the reason I don’t go enough. I had the bright idea that I would fly home, since there’s an airport 5 minutes from my house and an airport near them too. Any idea how much a ticket is? Anyone? Well, the price is (cue drum roll) $1307! Holy Crap! I thought I’d go out there next weekend, but, needless to say, I won’t be flying.

New shows I’m watching, and also, old shows I’m watching…

I’m really enjoying some of the new shows so far this season and some of the old favorites as well. I plan on watching “Crusoe” tonight, looking forward to that one. I like period shows and movies and stuff, and maybe there will be wenches and pirates. Aaargh!

Speaking of period shows, “Life on Mars” is good so far too. The guy playing Sam, Jason O’Mara, is pretty hot, which doesn’t hurt, and the episodes don’t seem to be predictable (to me) yet. I’m actually interested in finding out what happens, so if you know the British ending, I don’t want to know. I like how they’re beating up the bad guys during questioning and using typewriters and baking pot in the lasagna.

I’ve watched a couple episodes of “Fringe” and “Eleventh Hour” too, both just ok. I can’t look at the guy from “Fringe” without thinking of “Dawson’s Creek” even though I didn’t watch that show. For some reason I can’t take him seriously.

I had my doubts about “Kath & Kim”, but it’s truly, truly funny. I know it’s getting bad reviews, but there are really some laugh out loud moments. How could you not laugh out loud at Molly Shannon??? ETA: I just discovered that Selma Blair is, like, 36 or something. I really enjoy her character in this show, she plays a good early-20-something.

I was (am) really excited for some of the not-new shows to start, like “Life”, “House”, “Eli Stone”, “Biggest Loser” (token reality show) and “30 Rock” (can’t wait for 30 Rock!). Not much to say about them, they’re all good and exciting and I love them.

Gotta go, show’s on.

One million days since the last post…

I went to the dentist last week. I had to get a filling. I have to be honest, prior to last May, I had not been to the dentist in about 4 years. My mother would not be proud. Anyhoo, I was having some tooth “issues” (I broke a tooth eating free bread samples at the grocery store), and knew that I needed a check up anyway, so I decided to go to the dentist that my husband goes to. (He has excellent oral hygiene and gets his teeth cleaned every 90 days, I think this is worth mentioning.)

I had never been to a dentist like this before. The office was so nice and luxurious and the staff was so nice and the dentist was super duper nice too. Turns out that I needed a bridge or an implant for the broken tooth, so they scheduled me to come back to get a temporary filling while I decided which option was best for me. So I come back for this filling, they hand me a cd player and headphones and hooked me right up to the nitrous tank. It was like I was in my living room, soooo comfy. Literally, the best dental experience I have ever had, and I have had a LOT of dental experiences. The dentist was so apologetic the entire time, because, hey, I might have been floating on air, but I was still getting an intense filling. I felt like she truly understood that I was uncomfortable, I mean TRULY. So they scheduled another appointment, a “consultation” to determine all the drilling I needed to have done and the priority of each item. They really should have talked to me while I was all high on nitrous because when they said it would be close to $10,000 OUT OF POCKET, I almost fell out of the chair onto the lush, luxurious carpeting. No wonder it’s like a country club in that place, they are charging millions of dollars for the lavish-ness. Not to mention, this particular dentist is not in the network of dentists that “cooperate” with my dental plan. Needless to say, I made an appointment with a random dentist in my network so I don’t have to sell a kidney for the luxury of eating something besides chicken broth for the rest of my life. The filling I got last week cost me $35 instead of $300 and I guess I’ll end up spending about $2000-ish for all the mouth renovations I need. Still sucky, but less sucky than having to sell my house and move into my car. So for $35 I got no cd player and headphones, no fresh-out-of-dental-school-dentist stroking my poor, pitiful ego, and NO NITROUS! This is the stripped down dentistry I’m used to, lots of tugging and pulling and teenaged dental assistants talking about Project Runway, but I gotta tell ya, in that one visit to the special dentist, I got spoiled.

I took a personal day for the filling, by the way.